@joeyhuggles: I take all of my relationship advice from Animal Planet.

@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.

@sixfootcandy: My waxer just told me a hilarious story about ripping out a client's tampon during a bikini wax. I guess she doesn't remember me.

@PerfectPending: I don't envy mama birds for how they have to feed their babies, but the pushing them out of the nest part sounds fun.

@lazy_joe_: Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby All right stop, Collaborate and listen This frozen baby needs to see a physician