@MarkAgee: People are shitting on gorilla kid's mom for not watching. My mom had three kids under 5. I could've run a terrorist cell outta my treehouse
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@CakeThrottle: My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other.
@tastefactory: I accidentally heated my Hot Pocket for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and now there's a giant radioactive Hot Pocket in my apartment watching my tv