@MarkAgee: People are shitting on gorilla kid's mom for not watching. My mom had three kids under 5. I could've run a terrorist cell outta my treehouse
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Pro_Jones_: (Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet.
@mrjohndarby: [inventor of the snooze button] ok, these alarm clocks are pretty good, let's add something to make them useless
@thatdutchperson: They say that wherever you travel becomes a part of you. So I'm pretty sure I'm 98% living room.