@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it
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@SocialBitterfly: *one day before marriage* Parents: Don't talk to the groom. Don't see him. Don't think. *one day after marriage* Parents: BABIES, BABIESS!
@AndrewNadeau0: Band:Make some noise! Crowd:WOOO! Me:THATS SO VAGUE! WHAT KIND OF NOISE?! B:I cant hear u! C:WOOO! M:B/C UR PLAN WAS FLAWED FROM THE START!
@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
@junejuly12: Can't wait to watch the complex manoeuvres that will follow taking the first bite of a corn dog in the middle.