@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it
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@BareChesty: I think my dog just OD'd on lightening bugs. I didn't even know that was a thing. Please teach your pets about bug addiction
@FBSisnothere: When I hear the phrase "Freudian slip" I immediately imagine Sigmund in a revealing, yet tasteful nightgown. That can't be healthy.
@CelebrityChez: If it could be arranged, I would like to die by being waterboarded by a soft serve ice cream machine.