@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ClearlyUnwell: I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
@LivibelsDada: Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once.
@sofarrsogud: ME: This is false advertising. I've been here an hour and nobody has even touched me. So lonely. COP: Again, not what a holding cell is for