@Jesssicle: People are writing condolences on my Grandma's Facebook that sound more like Yelp reviews of her. Great woman, very loving, 5/5 stars
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@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
@LizHackett: I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too.