@adamjest: People ask me questions like I'm listening
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weinerdog4life: I'm not allowed at the gym anymore because I dropped my chili dog on the treadmill
@NYC_Blonde: A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend knows the password to your phone so they can delete all your nude selfies if you die
@joeljeffrey: I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. "How's it going?", "How about the weather?", "Where are your pants?".