@DanRegans: People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
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@david8hughes: [the last supper] Waiter: ok, your bill comes to 30 pieces of silver Judas: I got this
@SadieSmithRoks: It happens when you least expect it. Your head starts to spin. You lose control and you start falling head over heels. -winter ice/love
@NicestHippo: BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go
@UncleDuke1969: Brain: Compliment her eyes Me: Yeah? Brain: Trust me "YOUR EYES ARE BLUE LIKE BLUEBERRIES & THEY'RE PROBABLY SQUISHY TOO." Brain: Perfect!