@FunnyMojoJojo: People complain about their looks, but no one complains about their brains.
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@ISOremarkable: My answer to most questions is an intelligible grunt, a flustered pointing motion, & a 3 hour nap.
@Donnie_Fairburn: [On a treadmill next to a girl at the gym] Me: *Out of breath* Feeling the burn? Her: Yup Me: Me too! Her: How? Your machine isn't even on
@brennadine: Pavlov's bell, but it's me reading an email that I think says winebar when it's actually webinar.