@mstluvstrinkets: People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.
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@D2BMcG: Yes, I'm English. No, I can't speak British to you. No, I don't know the Queen. No, I don't want a spot of tea.
@KyleMcDowell86: told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco
@trevso_electric: One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high.
@llvvzz: You're psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.