@envydatropic: People don't make your heart skip a beat. Medical conditions do. Idiots.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Lakelandr: I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
@patrickhogan91: 22 y.o. male seeks woman who will kill spiders for him. Will do sex if required, but mostly please kill spiders
@ericacanrant: A scared look and a "let me go google that" is not what you want to hear from the gynecologist.
@ObscureGent: Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt.