@wolfpupy: people get sad when a bird flys into a window but when i do it its a big hassle
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@jonnysun: INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if… wat if water was mor like sandwich
@JDBooie: TSA training manager: "What would you do upon finding a kilo of cocaine?" ME: "A lot of cocaine."
@RobDenBleyker: I think if a little girl wants to grow up and be a Tyrannosaurus Rex that's totally fine, and science shouldn't stop her.