@WhatevaConc: People immediately behave better in traffic once they notice the Elf on the Shelf tied to my grille.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RobbyRob313: When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here.
@JosesLovesYou: "O honey, it looks like you got your period last night. I guess well need to get new shee- wait! Wait one minute!" ~ Japanese flag designer
@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.