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@Playing_Dad: People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
@botandy: Today's fortune cookie reads: 'you are the only human in this restaurant don't look up'
@catcerveny: As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
@timdonakowski: Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
@FacesPics: ...it's on the house ;)
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down.