@TheMichaelRock: People in public restrooms don't really like playing Peek-a-boo, apparently.
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@BlaineKy: I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. Because I have no idea where sandwiches live...
@TheTweetOfGod: "Scientology" is a combination of "scient-," meaning "science," and "-ology," meaning "science." And it just gets stupider from there.
@ShaneKnowsStuff: Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"