@TheMichaelRock: People in public restrooms don't really like playing Peek-a-boo, apparently.
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@Paxochka: Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they're not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them.
@rolldiggity: Bully: "Hey, four eyes!" Me: "Don't you mean... fork eyes?" [Turns around. Stabs bully with forks tied to glasses. Becomes class president.]
@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.