@longwall26: People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
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@TheRealDratch: Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: "If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here." "But I want to leave here." Touché.
@CoolCamel69: [picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? "uhh I dunno, 11?" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme
@StellaRtwot: I appreciate when aerobic instructors say "Don't forget to breathe" because I sometimes forget and then I die.