@TheRealHoff10: People keep asking me today "So you have a new boss?" No, I'm still with my wife.
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@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"
@hippieswordfish: ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN FRIEND: oh cool how was it ME: WHAT