@StormErika: People keep escaping from maximum security jails and I can't even manage to leave 5 minutes early from work.
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@ArfMeasures: INTERVIEWER: So...that's it. Any questions for me? ME: Do boxer dogs actually punch? I: um no that's not ME: I bet they use a puppercut
@Brianhopecomedy: The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.
@BradBroaddus: ME: I want to take long walks with you. HER: Aww...are you a romantic? ME: No, I don't have a car.
@Dirty_Naomi: 2 Jehovah's witnesses knocked earlier, so I invited them in. I gave 1 the hoover & 1 a mop. If they can do Gods work, they can do mine.