@StormErika: People keep escaping from maximum security jails and I can't even manage to leave 5 minutes early from work.
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@TheTweetOfGod: People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
@chuuew: Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called "Murderer" in this thing
@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.