@WilliamAder: People keep talking about the new Star Wars trailer. In my day, Star Wars had SPACESHIPS!
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@tastefactory: [on date] ME: I'll have a steak WAITER: How would u like that cooked? ME: Uhh with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes at date*
@GrantTanaka: A good way to break up with a girl is to leave her a trail of rose petals starting from her front door to North Korea.