@WilliamAder: People keep talking about the new Star Wars trailer. In my day, Star Wars had SPACESHIPS!
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@OfficialMizGin: Reasons to carry a handkerchief: 3) You’ve never heard of tissues 2) You’re doing a magic trick 1) You’re hiding your face to rob a train
@BoydPetrich: Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would they fight for a belt when they don't wear pants?
@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
@Mr_Kapowski: *runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh