@Jfficial: People laugh cause I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?
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@kyle_thatisall: Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.
@robfee: Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma? I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana
@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed
@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.