@Jfficial: People laugh cause I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?
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@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
@McGrumpenstein: - What was high school like for you? *2h22m later - That was just the plot to Shawshank Redemption Me: Granted, the similarities are uncanny
@slimmy_shady: Almost arrived at work when my kid asked "Where're we going?" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!
@TheTweetOfGod: Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems