@tastefactory: People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.
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@longwall26: If you name a baby "Steve" you get to spend all day, like, "Yo, my man Steve shit himself and threw a potato at the cat."
@vladchoc: I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire
@KatieBurnett: The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror
@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.