@Scott_A_Gilmore: People named Thomas, your nickname isn't "Thom" it's Tom. "Thom" thounds sthupid and prethenthiuos.
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@RoastedPapad: [ Buzzfeed writer becomes a teacher ] "Kids today we will learn Alphabets. Here are 26 Alphabets that will blow your mind"
@TheMichaelRock: The Zika virus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about.
@ericsshadow: 7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch.
@RummyLauded: Ten: Number of fingers children have. Twenty-six: Number of fingers children have when you try to put gloves on them.