@proEXgirlfriend: People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want.
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@Parentpains: If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
@Fred_Delicious: [Jumps into taxi] "FOLLOW..." [taxi driver turns around excitedly] "...ME ON TWITTER" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]
@lisaxy424: My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her "golden shower" so goodnight.
@seamussaid: Lunchables™? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna