@proEXgirlfriend: People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want.
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@007Pepe_Rex: [15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!
@LorieGZ: I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?
@HunkyBeefy: "What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?" "An octopus?" "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"