@SamGrittner: People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig.
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@cwhudson: [couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over
@RockabillyJay: If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer.
@johnbiehl: Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go.
@jannable9: I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?