@Ignorant_Indian: People out there are trying to contact the dead and you're telling me you can't text back?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jenlaw_11: Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car.
@salamingia: I prepare my daughter for disappointment by always giving her the iPad with a 4% charge.
@nuttywhippet: Ancient Chinese proverb: man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger.
@KeetPotato: [wife comes home from work] "why havent you done any of the things i asked you to" [the dog walks past dressed as a policeman] ive been busy