@Ignorant_Indian: People out there are trying to contact the dead and you're telling me you can't text back?
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@EJGomez: "dad mom wont tell me where babies come from" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US
@13spencer: Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Dude, I said your hands are ruff; can't you moisturize?
@PaperWash: hey can I use your bathroom? cashier: only paying customers jesus...ok just give me 9 double whoppers with cheese, a chocolate shake, 2-
@imskytrash: cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice