@juliussharpe: People over 70 have a much different idea of what constitutes a story.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!
@QueefTornado: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
@DaddyJew: Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife