@TheAlexNevil: People say “Don’t get carried away” like that wouldn’t be the coolest mode of transport.
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@Rollmaninoz: Judge: and how does the defendant plead Lawyer: like this your honor *makes whiny voice *nooo I didn’t do any crimes* Judge: HAH do it again
@girlontapas: Get a dog from the shelter for your kids and you're a hero but get a hobo from the shelter to babysit your kids and everyone gets all upset
@sarcasm_inc: I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.
@MelKassel: *night falls, the full moon rises* ME: go, please! i don't want you to see me...like...this HIM: omg what's happening ME: *asleep by 10 pm*