@cloudypianos: people say Einstein dropped out of school and still was a genius but he didn't drop out to drink fireball and start a band this is important
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@man_spach: My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail.
@therealeatwood: BAD COP: Throw the book at him. GOODREADS COP: OK! Check out Ruby, the beautiful and devastating debut novel by Cynthia Bond. ★★★½
@JWilsonGA: Wife: Your PMS jokes aren't funny. Me: I can't help it, they just flow out of my mouth. Wife: ... Me: Fine. No more. Period. Wife: *eyeroll*
@KalvinMacleod: DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection ME: wow, I feel like I’m in a DATE: no ME: mewseum DAD: *nods his approval*