@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
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@PaperWash: I noticed you're eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time. So how many people have you murdered?
@Schmoodles: My friend texts "ur" instead of "you're" but puts extra letters in "so" because she's "soooo happy." This is why everyone hates you, Julie.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
@ItsDanSheehan: 7:43 pm: I am in an argument with my girlfriend and my anger is justified 7:51 pm: I have just apologized for the Salem Witch Trials