@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
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@sophielou: *Watching opening credits -The Winter Olympics in PyeongChang 2018* Me: "How do you pronounce that?" Daughter: (Heavy sigh & eye-roll) “OH.LIM.PIKS"
@joshbupkes: when you're a kid you're like "how do actors cry so easily?" and when you grow up you're like "how is anyone ever not crying?"
@DarthPutinKGB: Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles.