@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
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@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?
@ruraljules: Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either
@PaperWash: dad: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN son: HI VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN IM GREG dad: omg [sheds a tear]