@DavidKlein5: People say I have a dry sense of humor. So when you hate everyone the word to describe that is dry now I guess.
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@lunasgarden_: I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway.
@Jeffwni: [hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?
@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
@KKAlThani: Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours.