@unravelingfire: People say I'm not very responsible, when in fact I'm responsible for "pajama casual" being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate.
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@PaulyPeligroso: 90 years from now, they'll sing songs about the courage and bravery you displayed during the great "Instagram Selling Your Photos" skirmish.
@Neauxpe: If you post a selfie that says "because some of you asked for a new one" I want to see screenshots of where they said that.
@itsa_talia: my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him.