@unravelingfire: People say I'm not very responsible, when in fact I'm responsible for "pajama casual" being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate.
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@cepheusjackson: MUGGER: Empty your pockets! ME: But these are cargo shorts. (45 min later) ME: That's the left one MUGGER: Seriously. ME: I am SO sorry
@iAmJuddy: My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed.