@mc_funbags: People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient.
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@KevinFarzad: Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her.
@lasergirl70: Getting rid of my cleaning person sounded like a good way to save money, until it came time to do the cleaning.
@HatfieldAnne: Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity.
@Book_Krazy: Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing