@hipsterocracy: People shit on Columbus like they've never knocked on the wrong door and then murdered the people inside and lived there.
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@ValeeGrrl: [at son's Little League game] ME: which one's yours OTHER MOM: the pitcher. You? ME: the one performing Lord of the Dance in left field
@RidiculousSheri: My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I'm the racecar, sometimes I'm the iron. But usually I'm a peanut because I've lost all the game pieces.
@Token_Geezer: When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers