@hipsterocracy: People shit on Columbus like they've never knocked on the wrong door and then murdered the people inside and lived there.
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@mydanimarie: It would be way cooler if whenever you punched a kid, a bunch of coins came out of them like in Mario. But ya, I'm free to babysit tonight.
@POTerritory: The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia
@LackOfShame: I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
@JhonRules: when i was a kid my father caught me wearing a ponytail so he sat me down and made me eat an entire steven seagal movie