@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
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@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
@EndhooS: Yelling "PARKOUR" whenever your toddler falls over is an easy way to make him look like a cool free runner rather than a clumsy little idiot
@Rachelnoise: Chemistry, ok. But soulmates? You'd think if our spirits were perfectly matched, they'd be comfortable at the same thermostat setting.
@Love_bug1016: Gentle reminder to send that good morning text so she doesn't have to draw on her angry eyebrows.