@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
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@Ygrene: [Murderer in the middle of murdering me] Can you put your phone down for 2 seconds while I'm murdering you I mean really
@Brampersandon_: ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask
@therealeatwood: ME: Stop hemming and hawing DONKEY TAILOR: [with quiet dignity] Sir, you may take your business elsewhere
@Quartzjixler: I had professional respect for you but then you said "recognizance" when you meant 'reconnaissance.'