@furrrizzle: People that have their kids on a leash get very defensive when you pet them.
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@michaelianblack: I like the way baseball players pick up each other's bats after they cross home plate. More sports courtesy, please.
@gruffybeard: Her: I need a living will. Me: *wiping blood off knife* I've got a dead Steve. Close enough?
@LoriLuvsShoes: I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write "wash me" on her face