@BackrowSeats: People that say "God never gives you more than you can handle" never met my ex-girlfriend.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
@leshnevsky: Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you learn in kindergarten today? 5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.