@sokangarude: People that say "we're not even white, we're pink" obviously haven't seen the parts of me that have never been in sunlight.
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@TheRolo: [Chased by cops on foot] *Turns corner and lays DVD of The Notebook on floor* *Cops get lost in Ryan Gosling's eyes* *Makes clean getaway*
@LoveNLunchmeat: People mock Snapchat, but I spent the first 36 yrs of my life wondering how my friends would look as rainbow alien puppies AND NOW I KNOW.
@Lunatic_times: It might be a sign you have a drinking problem when the cashier at the liquor store asks if you own a bar.
@Tmoney68: My GF called me "behind the times" today. I got so upset, I paused the VCR, paged my friends & asked them to fax me their best advice.