@ehdannyboy: People that start a sentence with "Now I'm not trying to be rude" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly.
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@MarfSalvador: 6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not
@OBiiieeee: First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though