@ehdannyboy: People that start a sentence with "Now I'm not trying to be rude" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly.
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@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.
@Death_Buddy: Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium
@ErrenMichaels: You threw. Our tea. In the harbour. And then you changed the spelling of harbour. We do not. Forget.
@NurseMurderer: Twitter is kinda like my diary except I don't use a glitter gel pen or tell you guys how much I miss Josh.