@RapeyRaperton: People that still call into radio stations are probably doing it from house phones.
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@bonehugsnirony: Being goth is hard. The curse on your boss is not working. Ravens are impossible to train. Deodorant marks on your black clothes. Ugh.
@KalvinMacleod: How to determine what party to vote for: 1) Calculate income 2) Divide by number of dependents 3) Subtract age 4) Download Game of War
@TheMichaelRock: Her: is he trained? Wife: of course! Me[from the couch] QUIT TRYING TO SELL ME ON CRAIGSLIST
@SuicideBooth1: Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]