@3sunzzz: People that use shot glasses baffle me. Just take a swig out of the bottle like a normal person.
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@Scorpio1080: The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever
@Browtweaten: *Riding around with my Abraham Lincoln clone* Lincoln: *spots a "Children At Play" sign* WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM
@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
@Ham_Tornado: There's a fine line between a mirror and the end of this rolled up dollar bill.
@JermHimselfish: The average Hollywood producer green-lights 8 Spiderman reboots in his sleep
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