@PetiteRainCity: Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....

@LucyLouMcB: Me: "What's the haps, yo?" 19yo niece: ... Me: ... 19yo niece: ... Me: "I'm sorry."

@_xLNc: I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: "You always run faster with a knife".

@Jenny4ashley: Joke's on you, jerk that sold me oregano instead of weed. I was going to make pizza sauce anyway.

@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*