@fatherofcomedy: People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder.
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@StephenAtHome: The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
@nojeshua: I'm no fan of Smokey the Bear. He's just the first step on the slippery slope to vigilantism.
@perlapell: The cancelled marathon runners should seriously run through the boroughs with supplies. I said it earlier as a joke, now I say it for real.