@MariyaAlexander: People think I'm a good listener but I'm really just solid at nodding
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@slimmy_shady: Her: "How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!" Me: "I know, I'm completely exhausted."
@jazmasta: There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?