@MariyaAlexander: People think I'm a good listener but I'm really just solid at nodding
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@Vodkantots: 9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car.
@DaddyJew: Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign
@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.