@DurtMcHurtt: People think I'm kissing an imaginary girl when I play air tuba.
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@GoldenSpirals: I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're "over" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.
@hippieswordfish: [in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy.
@KalvinMacleod: [inventing flies] GOD: make them eat shit ANGEL: got it GOD: make their babies the grossest things in the world ANGEL: ok who hurt you?
@david8hughes: As a fireman, I'm constantly asked questions like, "Can you please stop flexing & put out that fire?"