@DurtMcHurtt: People think I'm kissing an imaginary girl when I play air tuba.
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@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I'm afraid you have loser says what disease." Me: "What?" Doctor: "lol" Me: "Is it serious?" Doctor: "What?" Me: "lol"
@earnestaugust: She asked if I noticed anything different about her & I said no. Then I noticed she was angrier than usual.
@: Idk y men go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need
@JamieGreenlees: If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it.