@Livsey1: "People want to feel special.. they'll buy sugary piss in a bottle as long as it has their name on it." - Executives at Coke
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@dafloydsta: NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
@TheAmecha: Congrats, you've been selected for the job Me: Whats the salary? 10k now and will increase to 25k later Me: Ok then, I will come later
@EndhooS: Girl: So, your dating profile says you enjoy long walks by the sea & making ur own wine? Jesus: ON Girl: What? Jesus: Long walks ON the sea
@Fred_Delicious: [Jumps into taxi] "FOLLOW..." [taxi driver turns around excitedly] "...ME ON TWITTER" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]