@therepoguy: People who are complaining of shoveling driveways, haven't you heard of moving?
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@WittySassBasket: Doctor: What's that on your shirt? *flashback to shoving powdered donuts in my mouth* Me: uh, cocaine
@KentWGraham: ME: We live in an uncaring universe void of meaning and purpose. WIFE: I understand, but you’re still folding all this laundry.
@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.