@Home_Halfway: People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government
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@Scdavis24: Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
@RoosterMustache: ME: look a possum HER: actually it's spelled opossum ME: you don't no how I spelled it, we're talking HER: actually it's spelled know
@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"