@Home_Halfway: People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government
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@Kyle_Lippert: My girlfriend told me that it was either her or my Meatloaf discography. I told her I would do anything for love, but I can't do that.
@envydatropic: I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
@cowboyjeffkent: Women on twitter tell me my beard is hot Women in real life tell me where I can find food and shelter .
@envydatropic: It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast