@Home_Halfway: People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government
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@JaiWalker: *buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* *panics* OMG WHAT'S THAT NOISE? *son walks in with powered toothbrush* *buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* thank GOD.
@nd_L_: If only the person that named “walkie talkies” had been in charge of naming so many more household objects.
@vikkaroni: I'll bet Timmy would never have fallen down that well if his parents would've coughed up the money for a HUMAN instead of a dog babysitter.
@Brianhopecomedy: Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard.