@MisterBombay: People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: I once accidentally broke up with a girl on a broken-down train, when I said "I don't think this is going anywhere."
@dafloydsta: Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff.
@notacroc: [Preschool] Teacher: aw what's this little guy's name? [Simultaneously] Me: laser panther Wife: Jacob
@Kyle_Raney: [hospital] "We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach." "Is that bahahaad?" "Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."