@MisterBombay: People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides
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@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@KalvinMacleod: ME (pulling wishbone): I won WIFE: what'd u wish for? M: uh world peace W: Nice *human-sized bacon strip walks into kitchen* Hey, what’s up?
@KateWhineHall: Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.