@MisterBombay: People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theevilwriter: Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed.
@JessicaVarsity: Twitter is like a dog: There's always someone who loves you for you... there's also always someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
@gerryhatric: My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her. She bought me eye drops.