@mooodles: People who comment with 'goose bums' on YouTube videos, more power to you!
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@doktorj: Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth.
@JesKeepSwimming: The ones you keep closest to your heart hurt you the most. Like the underwire in my bra that tried to stab me.
@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
@BlairLoudly: *dresses like a kitty* *climbs tree* *waits for new fireman husband to come rescue me*