@SteveOHellNo: People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.
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@dubstep4dads: [sees kid crying] Kid: Im lost Me: that's ok. We're all lost. Happiness is an illusion. Life is meaningless. Death is around the corner. Bye
@RandomAntics: My yoga instructor said "sometimes not moving is the hardest thing for us to do," and I started laughing so hard I had to excuse myself.
@rockymomax: HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD