@SeanEmeny: People who have wheels on their office chair, how do you get any work done?
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@Merman_Melville: (Guy who was trapped in a well for 20 years standing in front of the Get Well Soon cards at the pharmacy, frowning)
@ch000ch: if u hear ur roommate using ur beard trimmer in the bathroom but they come out and look exactly the same u should buy a new beard trimmer
@panmidwest: ME: I made you some coffee! It's even double filtered… fancy right? WIFE: ME: WIFE: couldn't separate the coffee filters could you? ME: no