@qwertygirl: People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, "Thanks!"--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing.
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: M: I have what they call animal magnetism. H: *sidles up to me* *winks* Oh yeah? M: Uh-huh. *points to squirrel affixed to stray cat*
@Marlebean: [dark alley] Here's the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don't you want your kids back?
@briancthayer: [food naming committee] ... Ok. Cow? - Beef Ground up? - Burger Great. Pig? - Pork Baked & sliced? - Ham Super! Deer? - Venison Fish? - Fish
@WilliamAder: In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.